


Another day at work

by DoomsdayFairy



Series: transcendence au [2]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Transcendence (Gravity Falls), Demon Summoning, dealing with annoying customers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-02-13 00:55:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12972177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomsdayFairy/pseuds/DoomsdayFairy
Summary: Alcor answers many different kinds of summons, this is one of them...





	Another day at work

**Author's Note:**

> reading stories about rude and annoying retail customers has kind of been my newest guilty pleasure...  
> this is the result of that...
> 
> (see the notes at the end for zalgo transcriptions)

Answering a summon was always a bit of a gamble. More than half of the time Dipper would just end up in some creepy basement with some whacky cult who could serve him no other purpose than as a fast on-the-go snack. Sometimes the summoner was somebody familiar, Mizar or Lucy Ann or, for some reason, that girl who never seemed to grasp that summoning demons for help with your _homework _was _not _a good idea damn it! And- Dipper thought as he materialized inside of yet another summoning circle - sometimes if he was really unlucky, he'd end up with people like _this!_____

_____ _

____

The woman was short, caucasian, with brown shoulder long hair, and a face that had just started to show signs of wrinkles, and she was looking at Dipper with a stern face that just reaked of disappointment. 

“Well” the woman snapped before Dipper even had the chance to open his mouth “Aren't you going to say hello? GOD you are so rude!” 

“W̸̸̷͎͔̯̖͉̫̳h̶̻͙̺̱̭͖y̴̺̝͕̘͍ ͍͉̘̭͢h̵̯̮͈̺͙͝a̴̧͕̪v̸͖͇͇͍̹̤e̗̹̬ ̥͍͉̣y͙͚͞ọ͚̯̻̦̱̦u̴͏͍̭̭͇̰͕ ̮̦͢s̴̟̖̩̗̲͇̟̙͠ͅu̵͔̯͖̺m͖͍̦̞̱̼͈̣̳͘͞m̛̤̖͚̰̰͔̯̜o̷͍͎͈͙n̝͚̟̠̕͠ę͚͚̤d͏̱̹̖̘͙ ̞͍͘m̪͍̞e̴̵͈͈̜͘?̸̷̲͚” Dipper asked, ignoring his summoners outburst, he was not going to deal with this today. “Isn't it your job to know that?” she said, sounding extreamly pissed of for seemingely no reason 

“E̷x͜͜c̛u҉͞s̸e҉̸̴ ̨m͏̧e̵?̡̡” Dipper replied 

”Oh you know, it's just that you're the demon. So you should know. God, this is such bad costumer service!” Dipper couldn’t help but stare doumbfounded at her, _was this woman serious?_

__“Lįs̢t̡e͟n͜ ͠j͡uşţ.͠..̴-” the demon began “-jus͢t ҉te̸ll me ͜w̸hat ҉you͞ want̸.”_ _

__“My husband is cheating on me!” she said matter of factly “At least I think he is. He's never home nowadays, and he has this new girl in his office –she's way to young for him, she should know that- anyway I know that she's stealing my husband it's so obvious! She texted him yesterday, he said it was just for work but it's so obvious! You need to fix that!” Dipper thought for a few seconds, 'fix that' was an awefully vague request, and this woman sure seemed to deserve getting screwed over by him. Oh this would be fun!_ _

__“And͏ what͝ w҉i̧ll I g͜e͏t in͝ r͢e̡tu͟rn?”_ _

__”What? Do you expect me to pay? You didn't say this would cost money!” the woman loudly exclaimed ”Di̡d ̧y̴o͢u̸ ̛exp̡ec̛t̢ ͜me͢ ͡t͡o̧ h͢e͞lp ͡you for̸ fre̷e̴?̴ ͡Į`m ͜sơr͟r̡y̧ bu͠t ͟t͠ha̕t̢'s n͟oţ ho̢w͘ I ̵d̵o bu͢s͜i͞ness̨. ͠ ” Dipper said, doing his best to sound as nonchalant as possible “Y̨ou͝ ̴d̸on͢'t͟ n̶ęces҉sarily̵ ̢h͘a̢vę to ҉p͟a͜y͠ m̨e̢ wi͢th҉ mo̴ne͟y-” He continued ”-g̴i͝ve̷ ͞m̢e say,̴ ̶t̵he ̴memori̡e҉s ͟f̨ro͠m y̵o̕ur va̵ca̡tion ͟t̨o̢ ̕F͡r͏an͞ce̶ ̸l̢a̕st ͢ye̸a̧r͢, a͝nd ̨I'll͏ ̨be s̷ur̴e̴ ̛t̨o̧ ͜loo̵k int̶o ̢that ̨ļitt҉le ͝pr̢ob҉l҉em ͡of̧ ̴y͢ours͏!͘ ͞” He reached out his hand for her, lighing it up in blue flames as he did ”D̡o̡͜ ͟w͝ȩ̸ ҉̷h̸̡a̕v̕e ̢a͝ ̛de͜al̡͢?”_ _

__”NO! This is unacceptable!” Dipper allowed himself to let out a heavy sigh, the woman continued ”The websites didn't say anything about me having to pay! This is false advertising, I DEMAND that you compensate me somehow!” Dipper just pinced the bridge of his nose and sighed even louder_ _

__”Y҉eah͡,̡ ͠no̧.͠ ͝T͠h͞a͏t´s ͜not-” the woman cut him off_ _

__”This is terrible costumer service! I WILL be compensated or I'm calling the police!”  
That… wow, she was really stupid wasn't she? Dipper laughed _ _

__“S͠ure, c͏a͡ļl͞ t͠he͞ c̡o͝ps o͠n̶ the ͏d̸em̧on,͡ t͞h͠a̶t's̡ ͟tot̵ally ̢gon̴na̷ wor̨k̨.̧ Ǫh ̵a͝n̸d̢ by͡ th̢e͝ wa̛y̢,̧ is̷n't d̵em͘o̢n̶ sum͘moni͜ņg͏ il̛ļegal͞ in t̡his̷ s͠ta͘te?” ̧ Dipper felt very satisfied watching the womans face turn pale. “Ac̶tu̧ally, ͞I ͜t̢h̵in͡k͝ ͏making̡ ̕dea͠l҉s ̧wi̛th them ̕i̛s p̵r͠o̴b͏abl͝y̴ i̴l͏l͝e̛g͡al t̢oo̕. ͜h͘e̡h̨, fu͘n͏ny t҉hat ҉I̷'m t͟h̨e͘ ͜one ͜t͡e͝llin͠g y̷ou this̷ ҉isn̷'t̨ ̡it҉.̸ ̴” she woman began to stutter something, but seeing as he was probably not going to get anything out of her, Dipper decided it was time for this summoning to end. ” W̸ell͡, t̴his ̧h͏a̴s ce҉rtai͡n̵ly ͏no͜t̸ b̡e̸ȩn a ple̕a҉s̢ur̢e. ͝Don͜'t summ͟o͝n͘ m̨e ag̢ain͜. Good̴bye҉! ͠” And with that, the demon was gone, leaving the woman and her half finished insults alone._ _

____

____

Honesty, it was funny how dumb some people were.

**Author's Note:**

> Zalgo transcriptions:  
> "Why have you summoned me?"  
> "Excuse me??"  
> "Listen just...-   
> -just tell me what you want"  
> "And what will I get in return?"   
> "Did you expect me to help you for free? Sorry but that's not how I do business."  
> "You don't necessarily have to pay me with money-  
> -give me say, the memories from your vacation to France last year, and I'll be sure to look into that little problem of yours!"  
> "Do we have a deal?"   
> "Yeah that's not-"   
> "Sure call the cops on the demon, that's totally going to work. Oh and by the way, isn't summoning demons illegal in this state?"   
> "Actually, I think making deals with them is probably illegal too. Heh, funny that _I'm _the one telling you this isn't it?"  
>  "Well, this has certainly not been a pleasure. Don't summon me again. Goodbye!"__


End file.
